Traditionally pagans have celebrated life’s journey with rites of passage. The joining of two people in marriage or handfasting is one of those passages. You can style your wedding to represent Norse, Celtic, or Native American celebrations or design your own eclectic wedding.
Today’s pagans want a wedding that reflects their values and spiritual practices. This article covers different types of pagan weddings, and handfasting, and answers the question -are pagan weddings legal?
Weddings in Pre-Christian Times
For many pre-historical cultures, a wedding was when two families came together and worked out any land ownership and goods trading. The wedding may have joined two tribes or built alliances.
Many traditional wedding customs date back to paganism. The wearing of the veil is a practice that dates back to ancient Pagan times. The bride would wear a colorful veil to protect herself from any harmful spirits.
There was often an exchange of rings or another token of affection, such as a bracelet or necklace. Since 500 BC, many types of jewelry have been worn to exchange an oath between couples.
A full religious ceremony was often reserved for families of high social rank, and for most, the bond of marriage was performed with the community acting as a witness.
What is a Pagan Wedding?
A pagan wedding is a ceremony that celebrates the joining of two people. It represents the couple’s spirituality. Modern pagans typically express their commitment in an oath versus a vow.
During this ceremony, there is often a swearing of oaths that are taken quite seriously. The oath reflects the honest intentions of the two individuals.
This differs from a standard vow that may be used in other religions. A vow often insinuates one person is subservient to another. Christian ceremonies often use the term obey.
Much like other weddings, there will almost certainly be the lighting of candles, and in some cases, the lighting of a unity candle.
Pagans are a diverse group of people and their weddings reflect their culture and beliefs. To learn more about paganism read our page Introduction to Paganism.
Types of Pagan Weddings
Each couple decides what type of wedding they wish to have. There are many ways to celebrate the diversity of paganism and our ancestors.
Norse Viking wedding ceremony at Puy du Fou History Theme Park. Photo by Amaury Laporte.
Norse Wedding
Norse weddings were times for celebration and could go on for a week for wealthier couples. Not only did the wedding unite the couple but their families as well.
Nordic-style weddings are very colorful, just as they were during the Viking Age. Blue, red, and yellow were popular colors.
The bride may wear a linen veil. This tradition is referenced in the Prose Edda.
Norse brides often wear bridal crowns decorated with flowers and crystals.
Symbols such as the Mjolnir (Thor’s hammer) was given to the Viking brides to assist with fertility.
Honor the Goddess Frigga Goddess of marriage, love, and childbirth. Her day is Friday which is a popular day for Norse weddings.
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It is a given that there will be a large feast with lots of mead to celebrate! Before the feast, a race called a bruðhlaup was run. The bride ran from her family to her husband.
Couples drink from a drinking horn and often exchanged trinkets and symbols of Yggdrasil, the Norse Tree of Life. Sometimes they exchanged swords to symbolize how they would protect each other.
The Norse loved poetry and stories. Reading from the Prose Edda (my favorite edition) adds a wonderful unique cultural feeling.
Sword ceremonies were popular. A ritual where a sword was placed on an ancestor’s grave was then “stolen” by the groom to symbolize his emergence into manhood.
Read our article on Norse Symbols and What They Mean
Norse Handfasting
Celtic Weddings
Many pagans love the traditions of Celtic weddings in part because they were so progressive for the times. Men and women were seen as equals and partners in the marriage.
Celtic weddings are popular in spring especially during Beltane when we honor the Greenman and the Goddess as symbols of fertility.
Ceremonies were often led by a Druid priest (this could be a man or a woman)
Many pagans like to include the Trinity Knot in their ceremony. This Celtic knot represents eternal love without end.
The elements are acknowledged during the ceremony. Hand washing to represent purification, wheat to represent the earth, incense for air, and candles for fire.
One Celtic connection with nature is to have your guests write their hopes for you on a piece of paper and tie it to an oak tree.
A link to the ancestors is the Scottish tradition of having a stone of the jury. The stone represents the earth and the past for the couple. They hold the stone during the ceremony and then afterward plant it in a garden or toss it in a creek.
A Celtic wedding ceremony often takes place with the guests standing in a circle. The circle symbolizes protection and community. For a large wedding, a circle of stones around the couple can be used.
Light three candles to represent the ‘bride and groom’ and their life together.
Flowers were a big part of Celtic weddings so don’t be afraid to go hog wild here. Remember this doesn’t mean fancy bouquets. Fields flowers and grasses are just as lovely.
Native American Weddings
Tribal members and those with indigenous heritage often like to incorporate Native American traditions into their ceremonies.
Both the bride and groom carry a sacred feather or a small feather fan. This symbolizes the relationship with the Great Spirit.
A two-spouted vase or wedding vase is traditional in Pueblo and Cherokee ceremonies.
Traditionally the grooms family makes the wedding vase or has one in their family. However, purchasing on from a NA artist is also acceptible.
Smudging and using fire are popular rituals at Native American weddings. The smoke cleanses the surrounding space and also takes the prayers for the couple up to the Spirits.
Jewelry made of turquoise and other crystals is often worn by the Navaho bride and groom. In addition, a blanket is draped around the couple to symbolize their union. Among the Cherokee, initially, a blue blanket is used to symbolize past sorrow and then switched to a white blanket to show peace and fulfillment.
What is Hand Fasting?
Handfasting is a type of pagan wedding ceremony. In the ceremony, the bride and groom join hands and a ribbon is wound between the hands to symbolize their joining.
The couple to be married joins hands and makes vows of allegiance to one another.
After the rise of Christianity, governments faced the problem of providing a magistrate and legal paperwork to every village throughout the country. Folks who wanted to marry looked to the traditions of yesteryear and would self marry before the community.
Later, the union could be blessed by the church. These rituals, called handfasting, became very popular during the Middle Ages, much like a formal betrothal.
These traditions lasted into the Colonial era as settlers in the New World faced the problem of long distances or little resources. While some nations today require a couple to be legally wed, in many parts of the world, the ceremony of handfasting or self-uniting is absolutely valid.
Is a Pagan Wedding Legal?
Yes. The legality of the wedding is not the ceremony. For a wedding to be legal in the USA the couple must apply and pay for a wedding license.
This license is then signed by witnesses and/or an officiant depending on your state. In many states, anyone can apply to officiate weddings.
A pagan wedding celebrates the joining of two individuals just as a Christian or Moslem ceremony does. It involves two people who make an oath to love and cherish each other.
A Pagan wedding can be whatever the couple desires it to be. It can be a legally binding marriage or perhaps a ceremony that speaks to the couple's commitment to one another.
Is There a Rise in Pagan Weddings?
There is absolutely a rise in Pagan Weddings. Many people who aren't part of a major religion such as Christianity, Judaism, or Islam, just can't see themselves getting married in a traditional church. It may not reflect who they really are or be more dogmatic than they wish.
Having a wedding in a church, with the wedding party, and everything that goes along with it can be expensive.
A Pagan wedding is more practical and can cost very little. Often it is held outdoors. Many wedding planners, such as My Tiny Wedding, specialize in outdoor weddings and are open to pagan ceremonies.
Many couples are more concerned with the spiritual aspect of marriage than the legal part. These ceremonies are deeply emotional, moving experiences for couples.
Today, Paganism is one of the fastest spreading religions throughout the world. This revival of pre-Christian beliefs has influenced more modern values, such as environmentalism and feminism.
This was the site for my sons wedding at a National Park in Kentucky. Photo by Ame Vanorio
What Symbols and Rituals are in a Pagan Wedding?
Paganism is so diverse that the wedding rituals may vary greatly depending on the couple’s spirituality. Below are some common rituals.
Casting a Circle
It's not uncommon to see folks either standing or sitting in a circle during this ceremony. The circle symbolizes unity. Often the guests will hold a lighted candle. The wedding ring is a circle and symbolizes the unbroken circle which has no beginning and no end.
A blessing of the space will be performed. This can be done by ringing bells, burning incense, or walking around the space to "cast the circle" This is done to bless the ritual area and cast out any negative energies, including wedding stress!
Elements
The symbolic elements of earth, air, wind, and fire will be invited. The four elements symbolize certain concepts of our lives; sensuality, intelligence, emotion, and passion.
Wedding Altar
An altar at the wedding helps to connect the ceremony with the gods and goddesses. Place the altar on the west side of the ceremony. Place statues of any gods or goddesses you wish to honor.
Represent the elements with a chalice of wine, candles, flowers, or whatever you choose. Add crystals and charms.
You may wish to add pictures of your ancestors to join you.
Symbols of Joining
There will be the binding of the couple's hands or wrists together. The couple may tie the knot themselves, or it may be tied by friends. This is followed by the exchange of rings and the speaking of vows.
There are vows, and the bride may quite possibly wear white.
The sharing of a loving cup, or wine blessing, between the couple will be witnessed.
Celtic Tree Traditions
An ancient Celtic tradition is to scatter ivy leaves or for the bride to carry them. Ivy is a symbol of good luck and binding.
The Greeks carried Hawthorn in wedding processions as a symbol of hope.
What is Jumping the Besom?
Some couples incorporate the tradition of Jumping the Besom. After the couple is married, they jump over a broom or besom.
You can read more about Jumping the Besom in our Month of Ash blog.
Take Away
Pagan weddings are beautiful celebrations. Make yours a wonderful day!
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